#i’m in like! a writing era again! it’s been so long since any creative writing flowed

[pussymasterdooku]

.

[joelmillers-whore]

The Only Thing I Did Right

summary: after a patrol gone wrong, joel races to get you back to jackson. while the doctor tries to save you, he wrestles with the guilt of letting you down.

pairing: joel miller x reader 

word count: 2.6K

series or one-shot

warnings: mature, language, joel x female!reader, no mention of Y/N, canon timeline (sort of), jackson era, post-outbreak, soft joel, hurt/comfort, minor descriptions of blood, joel thinking everything is his fault, tommy is there briefly, mentions of drinking and/or alcohol dependence, happy ending don’t worry, angst if you squint

A/N: i meant for this to be a short drabble because my creativity has been waning lately and i’m a little burned out to be honest, but i got carried away, but what else is new. anywho, enjoy this lil fic. let me know if ya’ll would like to see another part of this or maybe an interconnected one-shot series, i would be down. i really enjoyed writing this. also, i am still trying to power through this sickness i have suddenly, and i don’t think i’ll be able to post hard light chapter two this week.

I've Got Nothing Left To Hide

“Where’s it hurt?”, Joel asked, in a low, almost inaudible voice. He tried to keep his tone calm, trying to keep you calm, but his mind was flustered, and he was on edge, and he was pretty sure that you could see right through his charade. 

He swallowed thickly, past a lump that was stuck in his throat. His eyes darted all over you, tracking every movement, every laboured breath, and wince.

It had been decades since he had felt like this; the constricting of his chest, the shallow and unsure breaths that he was letting out, and the staggering way his heart clenched, a silent prayer on his lips, asking any God who would listen to spare you. 

It all felt so overwhelming and a little too familiar. Images of Sarah flashed through his mind, dredging up demons and emotions he had thought he had left in the past.

He had never been so afraid of losing someone he loved, not since Sarah, but here he was now, feeling like he was about to collapse at any minute, terrified of making the wrong move and losing you.

He swallowed again, harsher as he concentrated on his breathing. 

He hadn’t let his mind drift to thoughts of his daughter in a long time, his chest burning in that familiar way each time that he did, squeezing to the point of pain.

He let an idle hand drift to his chest, right above his heart, and gripped it, trying to will it subconsciously to slow down. But it was no use. 

There were very few things in the world that made Joel feel as if the ground was collapsing underneath him, and thinking of Sarah was definitely one of them.

Whenever he found himself thinking of her, thinking of how he couldn’t save her, the breath from his lungs evaporated, and guilt slammed into him with enough force to destabilize him.

But seeing you like this, the woman that he had promised Tommy that he would watch over and protect, writhe in pain as blood pooled under your shirt, that was another thing that he couldn’t bear to witness. 

You looked so helpless, lying in his arms, looking up at him with droopy lids, a faraway look in your eyes.

He cursed under his breath, knowing that you were injured because of him, because of his carelessness.

You were going to be another person he couldn’t protect and he didn’t know how much more of that he could take. 

“‘M fine”, you said, weakly, your breath coming out in stunted gasps. 

Joel shook his head, tempered anger coursing through his veins, “Don’t pull that brave shit with me”, he bit out, harsher than he intended. He gripped you tighter in his arms, holding onto you for dear life. “I know it hurts, so just tell me”. 

He watched as tears gathered at the corners of your eyes, you tried to blink them but the motion only made them fall, coating your cheeks.

Joel lifted a hand, wiping them away. He hated to see you cry, he couldn’t stand it, it broke his heart.

He left his thumb on the apple of your cheek, thinking that maybe the sensation would bring you some comfort, thinking that maybe it would bring him some comfort. 

“Am I going to die, Joel?”, you asked, a slight tremble in your voice. 

Joel shook his head, adamantly, “Not if I can help it”. 

You faded in and out of consciousness as Joel debated his next move, trying to figure out how he was going to get you back to Jackson.

He clutched the hem of your shirt, the material sticking to your stomach as he peeled it from you.

He visibly cringed as he eyed your wound, the punctured flesh dispelling crimson red at a rapid and borderline concerning rate. 

He couldn’t wait around any longer, couldn’t wait for the next round of patrol to find them, if they even came out this far. So, he took matters into his own hands, his muted internal clock ticking down the more he looked at you pale in his arms.

He scooped up your limb body, pressing you flush to his body, determination and adrenaline pumping through him, the driving force propelling him into action.

There was only one thought in his head; get you back to Jackson, by whatever means. 

As he stepped out of the small cabin, Joel noticed that the sun was slowly starting to dip beneath the horizon, the pop of blistering orange making him anxious.

Night would come quicker than either of you wanted and then the real challenge would begin, trying to navigate through the dense forest and get back to the community in the dark.

You were trembling in his arms, shaking so violently, from either the bitter cold or the loss of blood, that he thought that he was the one who was hurting you. 

“Can you ride?”, he asked, urgency in his voice. 

“Dunno”. 

Joel couldn't risk injuring you further, but he also couldn’t waste any more time, so he made an executive decision. He had been making a lot of those on your behalf today, and his most recent had gotten you in this position in the first place, it was his fault.

If anything happened to you, he wouldn’t ever forgive himself. 

He placed you tentatively on the ground, his arm sneaking around your waist to stabilize you as he untied his horse from the post. 

“Alright”, he bent slightly, grabbing your foot and placing it in his hand, “Nice ‘n easy now”. 

He could see the strain on your face, the pellets of sweat sticking to your hairline as you used as much strength as you could, hoisting yourself up and onto the horse. You’d let out a strangled groan as you got situated.

Once he knew that you were on, he hopped up, grabbing the reins and digging his heels into Shimmer’s body, spurring her into a run, his motivation to get back to Jackson making his heart race. 

The only solace that Joel took from not being able to see you from the position he was in, was that he could feel you gripping him from behind, your arms latching around his waist, your cheek flush with his back.

He could feel your chest rising and falling against him and his pulse softened, knowing that you were still fighting, still holding on for him. 

He had pushed Shimmer to her limits, getting you both back to Jackson in record time. The sequence of events that followed had been a blur to him.

The gates had opened immediately, the guards recognizing him even in the dusk.

He remembered screaming his throat raw, begging someone for help as he carried you into town and to the doctor.

He’d watched on, helplessly, as they quickly began working on you. Blood and cloth blurred his vision, making his stomach twist with queasiness.

He had to leave the room, too overcome with emotion and nausea to be of any help to you. 

When he stepped outside of the small makeshift clinic, the frigid air pierced his lungs, drawing out a long and aching breath, striking him so sharply that he stumbled forward.

He had gripped a wooden post for support, digging his palms into it for purchase, closing his eyes.

He tried to get a handle on his breathing, but it was no use. He felt the bile creeping higher in his throat, until he couldn’t hold back anymore.

It poured out of him, leaving his mouth dry and his head spinning. It was a visceral reaction, his worry over you, over what he had let happen. 

He cursed Tommy for entrusting him with you, something so precious. He knew things could have turned out worse, and he was glad that they hadn’t been, but he couldn’t get over how bad they were right now.

How shaken to his core he was that he had allowed this to happen at all.

Joel couldn’t stand to be there anymore, just on the other side of the door that led to you, powerless while the doctor patched you up. So, he did the one thing he had always been good at, he left. 

Snow crunched underneath his boots, growing louder in his ears as he walked away from the clinic. He thought that a drink might help calm his nerves.

A part of his brain wanted to forget that this day had ever happened, and another part told him that no amount of alcohol would repair the guilt that was nestled snuggly in his gut. But he could try. 

Joel didn’t know how long he had been at the Tipsy Bison, he had lost track of time after the third or fourth whiskey. He blew out a shaky breath, letting a hand drift over his haggard features.

He had been running on adrenaline the whole day and now he was crashing, feeling the exhaustion settle deep in his bones.

But he couldn’t rest, he didn’t deserve to, not when he didn’t know if you had made it or not. 

A jolt of horror shot through his body, making his stomach twist in knots. What if you hadn’t made it? He licked his dry lips, closing his eyes as he felt a prick form behind his eyes. 

Joel was startled by a firm hand on his shoulder. He twisted slightly to see who it was, his face dropping further when he saw that it was Tommy.

He didn’t have to look at his brother for long to get a read on his expression. What he was thinking.

He was pissed and rightfully so. He had failed you and now he was waiting for Tommy to lay into him, chastise him for being so fucking stupid. 

“She’s askin’ for ya”, Tommy said, keeping his voice soft. 

Joel turned around in his seat fully to look at Tommy, surprised that he had gotten to his feet so fast. He snorted out a laugh, seeing the fucking relief that was surely on Joel’s face.

Tommy clapped his shoulder again, almost to stabilize him. Joel couldn’t look his brother in the eye, guilt bubbling and breaking the surface, making his skin sting. 

“‘M sorry”, he mumbled, “I should’ve been there, I should’ve gotten to her quicker, I shoulda done something”. 

Tommy shook his head, “You couldn’t’ve known that would happen, Joel. So stop blaming yourself”. 

Joel scratched at his facial hair, running his hand along his jaw, pondering Tommy’s words. 

He continued, “You protected her with your life, brother. I couldn’t ask for more than that”. 

Joel felt emotion clog his throat. Tommy wasn’t angry with him like he suspected he would be, he was grateful even. Something unfamiliar unfurled in his stomach, something that felt like acceptance. 

A long beat stretched between them, “Go see her”, Tommy finally said, a smile pulling at his lips. 

He led Joel out of the bar, leading him back to the clinic to go see you. Tommy stopped short of the door, motioning for him to continue without him. Joel nodded curtly, slipping past and entering the small, single-room cabin. 

Tentatively, Joel inched closer to the bed that you were in, walking on the balls of his feet, uncertain if you were awake or not. You were lying down, stretched out with your back to him, He sat on the edge of the bed, seeing you turn toward him, a grin on your face as you looked at him. Joel’s face heated under your gaze.

He didn’t deserve that smile, he thought, but he would take it anyway, if you were willing to give it to a man like him. He reached out, stroking your face softly with the back of his fingers. 

“Hey, darlin’, how ya feelin’?”, his voice was throaty, raw. 

His heart hammered below the surface as your eyes locked with his, pining him to where he sat. He didn’t want to breathe too loudly or make any sudden movements, too afraid that he would break the spell. 

“Better now”, you croaked. 

Everything collapsed at once inside of him; his resolve, his strength, his pride. He couldn’t fight it any longer, how fucking happy he was that you were still here, still with him. 

“What’re you smiling at, hm?”, you asked, arching a brow. 

Joel shook his head, his explanation dying on his tongue. He had never been one to lose his words but right now, being so close to you, he wasn’t sure he knew how to speak anymore.

Your hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back to the moment. Your hand was freezing as it touched his skin but he didn’t mind. 

His smile disappeared as your eyes scanned his face, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry—”, he started, but you shook your head. 

“It was my fault, Joel. Don’t you dare apologize for my fucking mistake. I won’t hear it”, you said, your tone firm. 

Joel wanted to argue, to tell you that it was his fault but he didn’t have the heart, not when you were only just beginning to heal up, still looking weak and pale.

He could wait for another day to have it out with you. He just nodded instead, and you hummed, content with him seemingly letting it go for now. 

Your hand was still on his wrist and he felt a strange sense of calm. 

“Come ‘er”, you whispered, tugging on his wrist lightly. 

He wasn’t sure what was happening until your lips were on his, soft, pliant, and full. The kiss was sweet but it only lasted a minute. He pulled back, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“Thank you”, you said, eyes shining as the light hit them, making them more beautiful than he thought was possible. 

He nodded quickly, head still spinning from kissing you. It had been a thank-you kiss and he shouldn’t think more of it.

But goddamn it, he wanted more. He wasn’t mad or upset that you had kissed him, honestly, he had been meaning to do it for months now.

If a kiss filled with gratitude for saving your life was all that he could get, he would accept that, he didn’t want to push his luck. 

You noticed the uneasy look on his face, shifting in the bed and using your dwindling strength to sit up.

Now you were the one with creased brows, your eyes darting over his face, trying to find your answer. Realization struck your features. 

“If I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, Joel. I just didn’t know how else to say it”. 

Joel felt like a jackass, that wasn’t what he meant at all. 

“That’s not— that’s not it, darlin’. I just didn’t think you’d want to kiss an old man like me”. 

His chuckle was thick with depreciation, but you just shook your head, eyes gleaming with something he didn’t recognize. You chewed your lower lip and Joel couldn’t help but stare. 

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a while actually”, you admitted. 

Joel’s head snapped up, searching your eyes. You were sincere and he knew it. That was the confirmation that he needed, the hope that lit a flame in his chest. You wanted him too. 

A deep chortle escaped Joel’s throat, his face neutral as he leaned in closer to yours. “Then I guess we better make up for lost time then”. 

Joel pressed his lips into yours, moulding to the shape of them as he gripped your face in his large hands, letting a groan slip into your mouth. You pulled back with a giggle, fisting the hair at the base of his head.

Your smile was a thousand watts and Joel couldn’t look away. His grip on your face tightened a little more, making sure that this was really happening to him. 

He couldn’t believe it but he dove back in regardless, wanting to soak in as much of your love and light that you were willing to give to him.

[farfromstrange]

GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT HER WI-FI BACK!

Me, that’s right.

Which means I can start writing again, and I won’t be MIA for much longer. Thank you all for being so understanding. I can’t wait to catch up on all that I’ve missed and interact with you all again.

Putting a read more now for those who don’t want to read this little life update.

Uni starts in less than two weeks, and I’m pretty nervous about how that’s going to affect the time I have to write because I’ve already got a reading assignment and I’m way behind on that. But anyway, I’ll find time. I’ve been gone for so long, I need to get back into it. And it’ll help me get through Uni if I write a lot in my free time. I’m majoring in English and minoring in sociology, after all.

So, I’m going to watch the Eras Tour Movie tonight, which means I’m obviously not going to be able to write tonight, but tomorrow’s Saturday and I’ve got no plans, so I’m definitely getting back to it then. And I’ll see what I can do about Kinktober because my fingers are ITCHING.

AND I finally finished my wall, for those of you who care. Call me interior designer for fangirls because I really am proud of my own work this time around.

There’s still space for me to continue the wall of fame, so obviously it’s going to grow

And I’ve got another one.

I tried my absolute best to make the apartment 100% ME. And it worked, I think.

Anyway, I’m about to leave, and since I haven’t made any new friends in this city, I hope meeting fellow Swifties and sharing friendship bracelets will get me some contacts around here. It can’t hurt to try and socialize a bit, right?

I made SO MANY bracelets because I had no Wi-Fi and was stuck with the old criminal minds DVD’s I still got lying around here, but I have to say, it’s been kind of refreshing as well. I feel like a caveman, but not in a bad way. I didn’t use as much social media and I got creative a lot more, so that’s a good thing, I guess. It was a forced retreat, but it felt like one nonetheless.

I’ve got a whole ring of friendship bracelets and I hope to a God I don’t believe in that I’m allowed to take them into the theater or I’m gonna be sad.

Anyway, here’s a picture of my outfit because I feel like I’ve slayed with that.

I’ve been gone for so long, I hope you guys appreciated my little life update. And if not, I’m sorry for bothering you with this on your dash.

More news about my writing and everything else concerning this account coming tomorrow when I’ve finished going through all my notifications and drafts, and then I’ll make a post to tell you guys more about what’s to come and when to expect it.

Until then, I love you, take care of yourselves, and I’ll see you soon!

[sp1rit-realm]

₊‧꒰ა 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⧿ 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐩𝐬! 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞!

Happy 900!!!! Ummm Marauders maybe? but if you think someone else fits better I assure you I don’t mind.

Where to start, i’m pretty quiet, like very very soft spoken until im really comfortable in a room. Once I know someone I’m still quiet in volume but then i can talk for at least 15 minutes straight without losing my rhythm and i get very very animated, lots of facial expressions, too many hands waving around. I like reading but I can’t call myself a bookworm because I take too long to finish them and usually give up so i’m more of a book dragon. I love writing and art and being creative and I love to learn but i hate to be graded. My favorite color is burgundy and my favorite season is whatever one it currently is until the very end and i’m sick of it, then i like whichever one is coming next. I like to collect things and i’m way too sentimental. I like rain and leather jackets and i don’t know if you want any physical attributes but im short enough that literally everyone comments when i wear tall shoes (i have platform doc martins with a heel so it’s only like 4 inches which i guess is a lot over all but even then Im only up to like 5’6-‘7 barely) And my hair is stuck an almost auburn color because I dyed it dark plum/burgundy in november and now the final claws of goldish red are dug in and i don’t see it letting go, which is especially annoying because my roots are returning much lighter than i last remember but I’ve been dying my hair since at least last June so i don’t know what I really expected. I have identity crises over my hair at least every other week.

In terms of how I love people it’s very much however it works with that person. I like when people like to pay attention to me and look for me in a room and that kind of thing, I also really like to be held and have my hair played with,,,,i find dogs very relatable (but don’t let that sway your decision in anyway, do what your heart tells you)

I’m sure 900 people leads to a lot of asks, but i have no idea, so please take your time and don’t feel rushed or obligated at all. I am so proud of this milestone for you and i’m so proud of all the people coming to their senses to appreciate such a talented spirit like you 💖💖💖

HI MARA!!!!!! THANK U SO MUCH

if you mean marauders era in general, i say (drumroll please)

you and dorcas!

to me, her character is very laid back, but secretly she's so passionate. like, she pretends she doesn't care, but really secretly does. she would adore all the things you collect, and will listen to anything you have to say about them. she'd still have to lean down to kiss you. she would say, "really? new hair again, mara?" and then she would whisper to you, "it's cute, makes your eyes pop." because nobody can know that she adores anybody, until you become official. then, she can't stop talking about you. she will read books to you as you lay your head on her lap, hair being played with. she would dance with you in the rain. she would steal your jacket because it smells like you, and because it means everybody knows you're hers. she would sit and listen to you rant/ramble/infordump and watch lovingly as your mouth moves a mile a second and your tongue gets all twisted. she would hang up your art, proudly displaying it as to say: "yeah, my girlfriend? they're perfect, and talented, and beautiful, and look at this art they made." she would kick someone's teeth in for you, and she winks at you during her quidditch games, loving how much you blush; stark red in the sea of green.

[madllamamomma]

To all that it may concern:

Hi. It’s me, ya Mad Llama Momma.

Yes. It’s been a very long time, and I am sorry.

Since the start of this year I have been unfortunately going through, well, a lot. Mentally and physically.

Now that I am where I am today, in January of 2023, I see that I was at an all time low and just didn’t know it. 2022 was a year of me kick staring my healing journey of my mind, body and soul. And let me tell you it has NOT been easy. Between new multiple physicians and even going through two therapist (holistic therapy was kinda a joke for me personally), a liver surgery scare, coming to realized that I had an eating disorder, and stopped drinking because of said liver surgery scare, it has been a fucking exhausting year. (Note: I had a kind of contusion on my liver from some unknown trauma 🤷‍♀️. Yeah, my doctor didn’t even have a clue.)

Turning 30 also was very mind boggling to me, and I literally mourned my 20s for almost half the year and was crying about the fact I wasn’t where I thought I’d be by now.

I wanted to be knee deep in a blossoming career and making the world brighter and better. As last month, I officially quit my job and do not have plan to go back to the medical field at all.

I wanted to be wearing a size 12-14 and somewhat fit. But I’m currently a size 22 and the biggest and most out of shape and unhealthy that I’ve ever been.

I wanted to be a mother by now. But due to my overall health, it just wasn’t in the cards at that point.

I feel like all of our young lives we are told that we are supposed to be in a certain place by a certain age or we are failures, freeloaders, lazy, etc. But I’m coming to terms that this isn’t true and that 20s aren’t the official end of my fun youth nor the end of my life.

This entire year also sparked something in me. Sometimes we need to think hard about where we are at in our lives and evaluate if it was even worth it. Sometimes, things happens and makes us question who we really are and makes us think if we really are truly happy.

I realized I was using the Arcana and my fanfics to heavily disassociate and a way for me to escape our crazy world and in a very unhealthy way. It was great when it was working, but when it wasn’t, all my depression and anxiety came flooding in without any remorse, and I couldn’t even muster myself to write anymore despite having so many ideas.

I am happy to say that I’ve been in regular therapy session, I started ceramics again (where I make a lot of crazy sub par mugs and other functional pottery), my liver is almost all the way healed, I started back to yoga, and I’ve been losing weight safely for my health.

After being restricted all of my young life, I am feeling like I have been able to be my most authentic self than I have ever been and I feel like for the first time in my life, and I am finally thriving. I was afraid of entering my 30s feeling lost and feeling bad that I wasn’t a hot young 20 something year old, but instead I’m entering an era where I am focusing on me. And it feels great. It feels amazing.

I have a lovely husband who is my best friend and soulmate and that loves me and supports me, I have a wonderful set of found family that loves me for me and never ask me to change or to be anyone else other than myself, I feel like I can be creative without being restricted. And it feels great. I’m figuring myself out and I am so happy I am able to do it.

(TL;DR) For all the people out there who feels stuck, who feel like they can’t be themselves, who feel like nothing is ever going to change—please just know, it does get better. People are out there to help you, people who want you to be your best self. Sometimes it takes medication, sometimes it takes lengthy therapy sessions, sometimes it takes putting up boundaries with your family and limited the time you spend with them, and sometimes it takes just you admitting that you need help.

Please don’t give up on your healing journeys even if you family doesn’t support you. Please don’t think you are alone.

Please. Please. Do not give up.

Happy New Years my lovely hungry trash pandas,

❤️

Your Mother Llama.

[tyqui11]

Back 2 Brooklyn

06/19/2024

Damn wazzam! It’s been too long world.

Been awhile since I blogged!? Where do I even start to explain how life has been.

I mean honestly I been in survival mode since the infamous year of 2020. During these tremulous times I haven’t had much creativity or any urges to write up anything. I find myself Leaning more towards vlogging in this new era of quick content. NGL I would say Vlogging is definitely the new wave, But there’s something about the power of words that fulfills me with that sense of gratification. I’d Like to think of it as a time stamp in the journal that is my life.

The year 2024 has low key been a hell of a year! Being the hip hop head that I am, we witnessed possibly the biggest chain of events in rap battle history! 2 of the biggest and best rappers of this generation going head to head for that proverbial rap crown, KDOT vs Drizzy was something we won’t soon forget. Ain’t gonna lie I most definitely had a horse in the race lol that was thee King Kendrick Lamar. Kung fu Kenny’s artistry as not just a musician, but a creative is unmatched. Hence this blogs point of interest leading us to Juneteenth 2024. This years Juneteenth just so happened to be the same day as the Kenny and friends pop out show!? Coincidence!?…It was almost as if KDOT the rap prophet and the hip hop culture as a whole won the rap civil war, all with the unity and pride of celebrating FUBU (For Us By Us) all puns intended.

Hella excited, I was also set to reconnect with someone I haven’t hung out with in probably over 6 years. Whom might you ask was the link up? None other than the infamous Shizz. My Muse, My 1st Love, the 1 that got away Shawn…she’s HER. With both of us relocating from Philly, (Me to NC) and She (PDX to the BK) was within my arms reach closer than she’s been in years. Which was pretty wild because all imma say is…it’s funny how GOD works these types of things out.

Now you might ask. What does any of this have to do with each other!? Shizz invited me to a Mesego Concert which just so happens to be on the same day as the KDOT Pop out!? And I ain’t gonna hold you, ya Boy was definitely trying to (get to the yams). I was feeling a lot of things TBH…anxiety, reluctancy, and regret just to name a few but mainly apprehension…as Kendrick Lamar-Growing Apart (To Get Closer) cues in my playlist.

Upon arrival in Brooklyn, heading up the elevator to HER apartment floor was pretty nerve wracking to say the least. Mind racing I quieted the storm that was my intrusive thoughts. I had to get my shit together and remind myself to just be me…that’s always good enough. As the elevator climbed floor by floor the more nervous I got. I’m here…as she met me at the door, I was thinking to myself while she talked with her oh so stoic tone (she was as beautiful as I remembered HER). It’s funny because she hates that I zone out when she talks, but what she doesn’t know is that whenever I do, I’m admiring her in real time lol. Awkwardness aside the 1st 5 min was…interesting. We had to feel each other out…get to know each other all over again. But this go around I was introduced not only to the Brannew HER but also to her energetic and overprotective Dog Copper (Her labradoodle). Initially growling at me, it wouldn’t be long before he took a liking to me! To be honest I think he could sense that I had pure intentions with HER so we hit it off pretty quick. He liked me so much that on the 1st night I stayed, he didn’t leave my side lol. Even when Shizz called him to be by HER’s, Copper stayed with me. Is it safe to say that was a Good sign so far or nah!? Shiiid I’d like to think so…I also admired how protective he was with HER in my absence. Good Dog Copp.

Today’s the day…Heading out to the event, my subconscious was wildly reminiscent. Heart racing I was almost in disbelief that I was actually sitting across from HER as we hitched a ride in the Uber. As we rode along a few friends called to check up on me. Playing in her Hair, I reassured the homies that I was ok. It gave us a bit more comfort-ability with each other. Good to know that She still responds to my intimacy. We vibed…then before you know it we arrived. I peeped the scene and I gotta say, it was almost indescribable. It was like the perfect time of day. The hour golden as the sun shined on all these dope ass individuals in cohesion with the same goal in mind, championing the feeling of freedom. The best Juneteenth I’ve probably ever partook in! A celebration for our ancestors from our people. After toning down my admiration I set my sights on HER. I was in Awe…The Sun shined on Shizz as if Oshun herself was standing before me. She was stunning…right then and there old feelings flooded back into my heart while we vibed out to the music in what seemed like just US in a crowded venue full of people. It was as if nobody was around us…all I saw was HER. It was Perfect…we Danced. Eyes closed, my head tilted opposite of HER exposed Neck. She welcomed me without saying a word. It seemed like our rhythm was more in sync than we had ever been in before…we just Danced. Time stood still for a moment, A calming yet understanding silence. At times no words were needed to be said…same as with the rest of this Blog.

Moral of the story…”What’s Understood Doesn’t always need an explanation” it is what it is.

We just lived in that moment, I mean who really knows if it would be the 1st of a new chapter or the last in the book that is our years long relationship. They say communication save relations, I can tell but I can never right my wrongs unless I write them down forreal…as Kendrick Ft Drake (Poetic Justice) cues in my playlist.

From Brooklyn, with LOVE

Good talking to yall and HER…Again

See yall soon, Sincerely Tyquill

[my-kaylah]

to my Dear Reader,

I want to take a second to have a genuine moment with you, as a person, but through my art.

So many have this idea that writing is something you have to do alone. I don’t agree with that. I’ve never written alone. Even if/when I do the act itself in solitude; I always chatted with people, I was surrounded by friends and family; my art reflects how I feel at any given moment. When I read things I wrote 15+ years ago, I can remember the impactful moments and interactions that really helped shape that era. So when I’m around my support system and I feel good? I make art. When I’m stuck in my head, self-isolating from that support system?? Art is how I reach out and ask for help [and as you know me, that’ll make more sense].

Even when I went through a phase of my life where I wasn’t “writing” I was always being creative or an active audience member. So if I wasn’t writing, I was listening to music or playing instruments; practicing calligraphy; reading books; watching new shows and movies. Content is art, and the internet is so integral to this new budding society [and a big part of my personality].

So they—being the many, the few, the minority, or even just you— may be asking… Why are you even doing this? If you even get this far enough to question me about that, you get a point [you might just be the point]. You inspire a part of me to share! It’s not to prove a point, it’s because you ask such good questions. That inspires ideas in me.

I am turning 25 in July and I’m in a unique generational position; I grew up online—again, a big part of my personality—but I’m a student at heart, with the soul of an artist, and the makings of what is most likely undiagnosed-slash-unmedicated adhd … I feel like I had a point in there somewhere, but I digress.

I believe that, culturally, we’re moving past the academic restraints and restrictions that have stifled creativity. I don’t subscribe to “academic” and “proper” grammar because it’s boring… Both to read and to write. At this point it actively excludes brilliant artists who—on average—don’t have access to the same resources or even quality of material [I might be projecting, whatever. I get told my grammar is horrible all the time… but did you have fun reading it???? Exactly].

On paper, it doesn’t seem like I have the “qualities” and “capabilities” to be hired on. One might argue, I don’t have the experience. By whose standards? Since I could hold a pen long, I have written whatever half-thought-out-not-very-original-thought I had based on whatever new concept I encountered. Soon, those concepts became the influences and a part of my writing style. In a way, reading was a way to safely explore the world, and writing was how I processed what I learned. It would later be the tool I used to express myself to the world.

I started telling stories before I could write… or even speak properly, some aspects won’t change [read: I will never stop talking tbh]. I always give the concrete age 7 as a point of reference for how long I’ve been writing. I always had someone to tell a story to; I'm now the oldest of about 8 kids [give or take a parent or two]. I’ve always written for an audience, even if the audience was myself.

I’ve lived the life of a “trendsetter” for my family, siblings, friends, and generally I’ve always been a source of inspiration for strangers who meet me, too. I naturally network and have a support system of artists from all over the world, from different artistic eras of my life, who deserve a platform to showcase how brilliant they truly are. And all I do is talk too much.

I will be taking the world by storm, and have had 25 years of essentially being a genuine artist as my experience. That’s hard to capture on a resume. Imagine what I can do with you guys, as a 25 year old with 18+ years of living artistically and naturally inspiring others to do so. I may not have the “real life experience” you’re looking for, but wouldn’t you rather mold generational talent into a disciplined force of humanity?

When you meet me? You’ll invest in me. How could you not when, after our initial conversation when you’re already thinking about the ways you could utilize my talent…

You’d be creating art like you’ve never had before… and the only thing you have to do differently? You will create art more purposefully, and will want to hold yourself accountable to doing things with and of quality. I won’t tell you what to do, and I will never take creative licenses away from you; but I can lead and guide through example. If this little essay doesn’t show you that I’m everything you didn’t realize you wanted, and everything you instinctually need. What you describe as a “job”, I do already in my daily life for myself and my friends. Difference is? I just don’t have the platform I need to have the impact I want… yet.

Again, you might not know me (yet), but my ability to connect with people is ingenious. If you make it this far in my baby cover letter… you might just agree. You might just find yourself wanting to take a gamble on me. And if not? That’s okay, cause someone will. And when we meet down the line, I can’t promise not to tell the story of how you guys fumbled me… but what was that about digressing?

[Fun fact: I write one of these specifically catered to each job I have enough faith to want. I believe we could do some groundbreaking work, and revolutionize the industry if you add me to your team. Wait until you get me in person and hear my ideas!]

Honestly, if you ever take anything from what I write/say/do: take away whatever emotions I make you feel when you connect with me and my art. Run with it. It might truly be a reflection of how I feel about you. How you interact with my art is honestly more telling than anything else [how anyone treats “amateur” art that isn’t seen as “classically/traditionally trained in the arts]. Tried and tested theory, worked all my life 10/10 works. The more genuinely you interact with my art, you interact with me. I'm enough of a walking paradox to admit it and be human about it. I don’t have the mastery of my arts yet, but at least I’m learning to exercise and stretching those muscles [read: rights].

And dear reader, duh you! The one who always gets to the end (or even reads the entire thing for extra brownie points)… you know the rest lol

[chorusfm]

Ashlynn Malia – “Dying To Miss Out” (Video Premiere)

Today is a great day to share the latest single and video from Ashlynn Malia called “Dying To Miss Out.” On this electric-charged new track that’s based on recent heartache, Malia channels her love for artists like Halsey and Lana Del Rey into her own eclectic mix of pop. Malia shared, “This song’s for those situations where I’d rather be literally anywhere than around the person I miss most, not because I don’t want to see them, but because of how badly I do want to see them despite how painful the interactions are.” The song comes from her highly anticipated debut LP, MALIA, that will be released on February 2nd via Jullian Records. I was also able to catch up with this talented artist for a brief interview below. Your new track “Dying To Miss Out” expresses a distinct internal conflict, between intense longing and clarity in knowing that giving into that longing wouldn’t be good for you. Did writing from this place help you process said conflict in any way? Writing this song definitely did help me process that conflict. Having it written helped me step outside of myself to view the issue from a new perspective. And on top of that, these lyrics are things that I have trouble saying out loud sometimes, so getting to record and sing them over and over again is really cathartic and healing. With MALIA putting a stamp on your “ethereal pop era,” how does this new single off the record help carve out that general vision on a sonic basis? Can you describe the writing process on a musical front? This single isn’t technically new, it came out over a year ago but I feel like writing it started the ethereal pop wave I’ve been riding ever since. Now that I have an entire project following that style, it seems only fitting that I include the song that inspired me to even explore it in the first place, hence “renewing” it with a music video, which I think it’s always deserved. With your record’s release being a few short weeks away, can you describe how you’re feeling in this anticipatory state? What are you most excited/nervous for listeners to hear? I am SO excited about this project. I have never been more proud of any release in my life. My team and I took some really fun creative risks for the album and there is definitely a wildcard in there – I won’t spoil too much but you’ll definitely hear it when you listen through. Overall, this record has the most distinct sense of identity out of all my projects. It sets the scene for how I’m going to continue exploring and evolving my sound. --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/ashlynn-malia-dying-to-miss-out-video-premiere/

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  Hope your day has been/is going well!  Saw this response to the sniffing GIF and have been wheezing ever since.  In my defense, I could 1000% see this being Ian’s thought process. XD  Also, because my mind is a terribly inappropriate place most of the sometimes, I was also reminded of some of our discussions of Peter and things he wasn’t allowed to say/wear/do in the OUAT ‘verse. XD

Hey B! Honestly, so far, it’s going okay. Went to physical therapy to treat my triggerpoints (multiple) and deep tissues that are causing me pain (so much fun being voluntarily tortured). But for a good cause. Nice warm shower today, watched some The Last of Us, and now ready to write, so honestly, pretty good day. (Also my mom’s lawyer thinks there may be a chance to freeze John’s account (her about to be ex, my father) and get her money back so, fingers crossed!

Ok but I have to include this:

It’s too goddamn funny not too XD I am WHEEZING! And yeah I think that’s how that went, honestly XD.

Hehehehehe I remember those, I’m writing that down for the buddy cop thing, honestly I was gonna base a lot of it on OUAT canon truth be told. With some adaptations for this fic, but like Nathaniel and the rest of the Hales are back, the whole background with Elias and Odette, the stuff with Gerard and Chris, all of that is back too. I think the one change I made was Scott just being Melissa and Rafael’s son but I’m still on the fence about it, because I like the idea of Melissa and Claudia truth be told.

Speaking of my mind being a terrible place; if he’s acting as their sniffer dog in the buddy cop story, does he have a collar and leash to wear?  You know, for verisimilitude, or science, or whatever? *attempts to blink innocently, fails somewhat miserably*  Nearly responded to your “back in Teen Wolf hell” comment with “aren’t we all?”, but realized that implied I’d ever managed to get out. XD

Ehehehehe, well, you know Noah, as a druid would def have something up his sleeve and Chris, as a hunter, always comes prepared for the worst. Especially when it involves a Hale, in particular Peter. I mean true, but I am happy to be here again. I can feel creativity flowing and honestly I think a; fuck you Jeff Davis was just what I needed to get back to actually writing.

On a slightly more serious note, I was thinking about the changes in Peter’s wardrobe across the course of the series (at least as best I can tell/recall), and wondering if there might be any particular meta behind it or not.  Like, he starts out the end of Season 1 in a button down shirt, pants, and long jacket all in dark colors, perhaps slightly oversized.  After being resurrected, he enters his slut era and tends towards delightfully tight jeans and v-necks in mostly darker tones with some neutrals thrown in (I’m sure we all remember the Cardigan Incident when Cora is in the hospital. ;D )  From GIFsets I’ve seen of the whole Ghost Riders thing onwards he’s still in mostly dark colors, but with more conservative necklines this time, possibly with more short jackets making an appearance? (not sure there, didn’t actually watch those seasons), and now in the movie he’s back in an outfit very similar to Season 1, but in much lighter colors this time, and it looks like possibly even looser fits (that coat is wonderful, but borders on oversize, at least compared to his normal fits.)  I don’t know that there’s actually anything to it other than my brain being weird, but it occurred to me so I figured I’d throw it out there.  (Also, from what few GIFs I’ve seen, it looks like the only time Noah might be out of uniform in the movie is at some kind of funeral/wake for Derek?  Let the man wear civvies once in a while, goddammit! XD ) 

Ooooh good call! I always thought it was like a subconscious thing Peter did tbh. Like I am a ‘dad’ now so I have to start dressing more appropriately or something. At least that’s kinda the vibe I always thought, idk if they were going for that. And yeah, come on, Noah should absolutely just be put in more clothes than ‘funeral clothes’ or uniform. I don’t think we actually got a single scene of him wearing anything else tbh. I needed more clothing inspiration for him. Though I still love the band T idea and the flanels and henleys.

And yeah, I don’t know that I’d trust Davis to do something like the Eli/Elias thing deliberately, but I can absolutely believe it as a very potentially useful to fanfic accident. XD  (Also reminds me of how in the SW Legends books Leia names one of her kids Anakin to try and like, rehab the name or something.)

You know, I’m sending this thought to all Sterek fanfic writers everywhere because it’s def an interesting one to work with.

Anyway, since I mainly started this to send you that link, then got distracted (shocking, I know ;D ), I’m going to try and wrap up.  I hope everything is healing as well as it can (whether mental, physical, emotional, or otherwise), and that your pain levels are playing nice!  Sending all the best vibes and energy!  Take care!  *Lots of hugs to both of you!!!*

I love it when you get distracted though XD <3 Sending all the best vibes back and I hope you have a fantastic day too! Lots of love and hugs from me and Mo <3

[lostlambs-ifgame]

The Semi-Important Announcement

Hi everyone long time no see! I thought it’d been only two weeks but then I blinked and it was almost two months. Did not mean for that to happen. But I’m back (for now until life gets in the way again) and with a semi, somewhat, sort of  important announcement.

I’ve decided to “revamp” the setting of Lost Lambs! This probably isn’t too surprising if you’ve seen my other posts where I’m whining about history being history lol. So, I’ll be changing the setting from the real world to a realistic fictional world. Nothing too crazy or drastic. Just something that would save me a lot of unnecessary stress and a lot of time.  Long story short/tldr - what would this actually change?

Almost nothing! Other than a little worldbuilding and edits to the current demo, the overall plot wouldn’t change at all. The setting would just go from actual Gilded Age/Edwardian era to a world inspired by said eras instead (which is basically what it already was but this time with more creative freedom.)

Under the cut is some more rambling and an explanation behind this decision if anyone is curious.

Lost Lambs was never supposed to be super historically accurate and I’ve said that before so no one expects it but it’s been bothering me more than I expected. The more I write the more it bothers me and then the less I actually want to write. It got to the point where I’d write dialogue and every five seconds I’d stop to ask myself: “Oh no, is this accurate? Is this too out place?” Then I’d go down a rabbit hole of research and all my excitement would be drained by the end because I’d overwhelm myself. I’m sure a better, more experienced writer could’ve handled this but as an amateur who is doing this for fun, it was sapping away exactly that – the fun.

I tried to stick it out, but if it’s getting in the way of actually finishing anything - I’d rather make a world of my own where I can have as much fun with the setting as I want. The new setting won’t be anything too out there. It’ll still be inspired by the American East Coast but any references to real world locations will be scrapped. This is going to be Jaymee’s Earth: Jarth (this is a placeholder joke name).

I’ll have the updated demo ready and posted in October plus the beginning part of Chapter Two! I wanted to post Ch 2 in its entirety because I feel bad that it’s been a whole year since Ch 1 dropped. But since I have to rewrite almost all the dialogue I don’t think it’ll be completely finished until the end of the year 😅Again, thank you all for reading and sticking with me! I say this all the time but I really appreciate each and every like/ask/comment and all the quiet, subtle support. It means the world to me as someone who has always wanted to share my writing but has never had the opportunity to do so. Much love and thank yous!! 🖤🖤🖤

(also a special thank you to @hpowellsmith who was kind enough to answer my random question about settings!)

[dollmoth-productions]

Hi doll moth I’m happy that you are feeling better both mentally and physically! We will always support you! I have a yandere platonic encanto request for you ( no surprise encanto is my safe haven ) can I please request the madrigals with a reader who has the power to switch anyone’s appearance drastically or simplistically. They can simply get rid of freckles or change a person‘s race more make them look younger or older. When drastically changing someone’s appearance, the transformation will last until midnight at 12 because of how much is changed about the person. However simple changes can last as long as the reader pleases. Their room is like a salon with their Passion of cosmetology! It’s okay if you don’t want to do this right now! I know you are feeling better but I want you to heal better so feel free to do this anytime! ( below is how I kinda imagined them I couldn’t find a non binary version of this sadly T-T. You can imagine them as a your gender if you want. I would just change their style to the era of where encanto takes place. )

Thank you very much for your kind words it's just been a hard couple of weeks I've been debating whether or not to open up the account again but I decided it's best for me to continue writing what time you get back on track sorry I'm a little rusty it's been awhile

TW OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

❤ Abuela  At first she was scared the people would use their gift to Advantage and only rely on you to make them feel beautiful but then she realize how helpful this to be for the family especially Isabela even though it only lasted a is quite helpful no matter what she loved it even you give her some makeover tips even though she doesn't do it most of the time she loves it and commonly gives you with too much makeup

💙Julieta and agustín  I quit love your creativity even asking how to do Sunday agent tips you just help them in any way possible even putting some dye in their hair to make it look like gray and they loved it what's the time they didn't do it so they can hang out with you the commonly get jealous with how many people come in and out of your salon you are the towns next top sensation

💙 Isabela  he already believes that she's perfect even though she doesn't like it but she mostly just does it to hang out with you she loves the way that you change up her hair a little bit curly dad's dying it even using some of the extra powders that she created it's a big save on money on your part and you just love experimenting with her you even give her some dress tips for when she started experimenting with dyes on her dress again she lives for it

💙lusia  she always looks kind of the masculine size and she wanted to look a little more feminine so she asked for you to do my hair makeovers eyelash extensions synthetic curling her hair all day even asking her to do your hair and you both have a braiding fast whenever you have the chance it's always so fun whenever she stayed in your room especially when you do makeup even though it only lasts for day it's the most one shall ever have she awesome scares away anyone that gets in her way of her little sibling

💙Maribel  although she's pretty confident she wants to be included so you all can do like makeup hell you even gave her freckles for a day and she fell in love with it she got compliments all day and she wanted more of it but whenever you get compliments it's annoying you were too good for them and that's what made aggravating

💛Pepa and Fèlix  personally they love it they love how you get off of makeup sex or anything you often do their nails especially Peppa's since she choose them out of stress you often scold her and then you do them some different designs but yet she always goes with the same design and you don't mind it

💛 Dolores personally she doesn't really like how you always do the makeup for the pound since they always take advantage of your kindness and you often don't get a full hours of sleep since you often have to work on wedding would always happen whenever you want free time one of them her wedding all he asked for some simple makeup and cute dresses and that's what you did you made her look like the belle of the ball and she loved it

💛 Camilo complete and other jealousy you always get the family members much more attention because he's very confident and how he looks what does that mean he doesn't want to spend time with you know he wants to spend all of his time with you no matter what but that doesn't happen since you're so busy so when it does happen you get to do his makeup and it's so much fun

💚 Bruno  although he doesn't like makeup it kind of freaks him out he still allows you to do all sorts of stuff of his hair there's so much of it and you allow anyting straightening buns space buns braids you name it he wants to experiment with it one time he walks around the entire town with pigtails and he loved it

[bts-weverse-trans]

201128 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Namjoon

RM: “I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.28

The story of BTS’ new album BE started on April 17, 2020 when group member RM announced its production on the BANGTANTV YouTube channel. In the seven months that followed until the album’s release, RM’s mind was full, his thoughts flowing in and out of his head.

How do you feel about the unique approach you took to making your new album, BE? RM: The other members were a ton of help to me. My lyrics made it on the album, but the music I composed didn’t, so I’m really thankful to the group for the music. How should I say this? I feel like everyone is doing a great job. There are so many parts in these songs that I’m indebted to them for. “Stay” was originally going to be the title song on Jung Kook’s mixtape, but everyone liked it so much, and they all agreed to put that on our album. That’s how much influence they had. I’m really happy my room idea was chosen to be the album photos. Since we’re spending a lot of time in our rooms because of COVID-19, we laid out the idea of each of us decorating a room in our own style. I can’t remember for sure (laughs) but I think I’m the one who came up with that. I made a comfortable room, one that’s modern and warm because that’s what I like.

There’s a painting in the middle, and symmetrically arranged figurines. RM: The figures are from my own collection. I wanted to show one of my paintings, but that didn’t pan out. But still, those are the things I hold most dear to me right now, so I let the room embody the things I wish I had, too.

It’s well known that you like art and frequent exhibitions, but how do you feel when you look at art in your home or another space where there are no people, like in the album art? RM: Someone said, “You don’t have to buy this painting; it’s yours so long as you’re looking at it.” That’s my favorite sound bite these days. What I most envied about painters was that, even after they died, their work would be hanging up somewhere, maybe even in another country, still defining that space. Musicians leave behind their songs and videos, too, but it’s only through fine art that viewers in the future are able to completely meet artists from the past. I’m envious that this is only possible for painters. These days I’m trying to find spaces where I can have more relaxed viewing experiences.

There’s a full experience involved, from the time you get ready to leave your house until the time you’re actually looking at artwork in the gallery. RM: That’s perfect to me. There’s art you can keep at home, and then there’s art that should always be viewed in museums.

What effect do you think that type of experience has on your music? You didn’t compose any of the songs but instead participated in writing the lyrics to all of the tracks. Did that experience affect your lyric writing in any way? RM: I think it’s helped me develop a way of thinking using all the senses. I used to be attuned to speech and focus on language and auditory textures, but now I can look at my thoughts from many different angles. That’s why I spend more time studying art now. I’m waiting for the day that it all comes to the surface, like when you paint the base on a canvas over and over so the colors pop. It’s hard to answer in one word if it has a direct influence on my work, but I think people who create music develop a way of seeing the world through their personal experience and their creative process. Painters naturally exhibit their art over a very long period of time. I think it gave me an eye for looking at the world in one long, continuous stroke. So now it’s become a little challenging for me to write lyrics these days. I’ve become more cautious.

Why is it so challenging? RM: I used to have so many ideas pouring out that it was hard to pluck one out. So I would stack them up like a Jenga tower and ponder over which one to remove. But now, it’s hard to even add a block to the stack. I’m not sure why but, when I look at these artists whose works span their entire lives, I sense that the rhythm of my creativity is slowing down more and more. That’s the source of my dilemma. I’m only 27 years old. I still need to wander around and get tripped up a little. But am I just trying to imitate what the fine artists are doing? Or maybe BTS experienced so much in the past seven years, that now it’s time for us to take a breather? I’ve got so many questions, I feel like my hair’s turning white. That’s why none of my songs are on the album. I wrote some, but they were too personal to use there. I don’t exactly like myself like this, but I have to see through to the end in this direction and find the answer.

Maybe for that reason, your rapping has shifted focus to the lyrics more so than trend or musicality. It emphasizes the feeling of the words over a particular format or beat. RM: Exactly. In—was it 2017? Pdogg was talking to Yoongi, Hobi and me about our style, and said, “Namjoon, it feels like you’re becoming a lyricist,” and it really stuck with me. I have a lot of thoughts lately when I watch Show Me the Money or listen to hip hop songs from the Billboard chart. My music started out all about my life as a rapper, so I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now.

So you’ve started to ask yourself who you are as a musician? RM: I listened to Lee So-ra’s seventh album again today. I keep changing my mind but, if I had to pick between her sixth and seventh album, I like her seventh a little more. And then I listen to the most popular songs on Billboard, and I feel kind of thrown off. Um … There’s something Whanki Kim said that’s been running around in my head lately: After moving to New York, he embraced the style of artists like Mark Rothko and Adolf Gottlieb, but then he said, “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” And I keep thinking that way, too. That’s my main concern lately.

You can feel that on BE. As the members take on more prominent roles as songwriters and producers, characteristics of old Korean music—the kind of music you likely listened to in middle and high school—gradually entered your sound. But your music isn’t from that era, and it sounds like pop, but not quite. RM: The sound has to fit with the whole album so I couldn’t incorporate that feel into BTS songs, but the songs I’m listening to most lately have been Korean. Songs like P-Type’s “Don Quixote,” Dead’P’s “Spread My Wings,” Soul Company’s album The Bangerz. The impressions the songs from back then have left on me, the lyrics from back then and the lyrics from now, they’re different. So BE is both Korean and pop; it’s very unique, in my view.

I think that’s especially true for “Life Goes On.” It’s got a pop melody, but compared to “Dynamite,” it has a very different feel. It doesn’t slip deep into the sentimental, instead allowing the melody to flow naturally. RM: Exactly. The chorus is totally pop, and one of the writers was also American. But the song doesn’t really follow American music trends, weirdly. So I don’t know how “Life Goes On” is going to be received. It’s really calm, almost contemplative. So there’s lyrics, like, “Like an echo in the forest,” and, “Like an arrow in the blue sky.” The song kind of feels like that: It could just float off and disappear. It might even come off as bland next to “Dynamite.”

If nothing else, it seems the song will stick around for a long time. Maybe kids now will listen to it later on in the future. RM: I hope so. That’s the one thing I really hope for, people in the future, thinking back and saying, “Oh, right! Remember that one song?” That’s what my favorite artists and other people who leave a lasting impression on me have in common. One thing common among the songs that have affected me a lot, like Lee So-ra’s seventh album, is that the lyrics they utter in their voice along with the overall sound stick with me. I hope when people look back, my words uttered with the sound of my voice, echoes for a long time in an auditory or visual way, or even throughout their entire lives. But that’s the dilemma: We have all these bling-bling symbols of our success, but we’re not that kind of team.

And yet, BTS’s career path is even more “bling-bling” than ever. “Dynamite” was the top song on the Billboard Hot 100. RM: I was the first one to check our position (laughs) but I didn’t want to get too excited about it. I was scared of facing disappointment so I put the brakes on out of habit, and restrained myself. But on the other hand, I feel like I should relish this moment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing; shouldn’t I enjoy myself a bit? But I disliked that sensation of only feeling elated so I tried to be as objective as possible. I was just one small part of everything that made this happen.

It reminds me of that part, “Running faster than that cloud of rain /  Thought that would be enough / Guess I’m only human after all,” from “Life Goes On.” RM: “Only human” sounds so appropriate for me right now. One time, I saw a dark cloud over the N Seoul Tower while I was walking along the Han River. I was with a friend and we talked about where the border between where it’s raining and where it’s not might be, and suddenly, we came up with the idea to run and find that spot. But after running for 10 minutes, the cloud was even further away than it had been. At that moment, the puzzle pieces snapped into place. You think you can go faster than that dark cloud? No. That’s what I realized then. And I just like what Whanki Kim said, that maybe I can’t do anything not Korean, because that’s what I am. I used to work late and then stay up all night when things weren’t working out, sometimes walking from Samseong to Sinsa station, thinking everything through. But now, like the saying, I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am.

On Weverse, you said that you gained some muscle from working out. Could the change to your body improve your creativity in the long term? RM: I started to think I better change myself a little, physically or mentally. I’m talking about being steady. I used to bombard myself with challenges and worries and just get over them, but now I think it’s time to find that one sturdy thing and plant myself there. The best choice was working out, and I think it’s changing my behavior a lot. I’m hoping that, if I keep working out for a year or two, I’ll become a different person.

Music is your job, but also your life. Like you expressed in “Dis-ease,” how would you say you feel about your work? RM: This is my job and my calling and I feel a great sense of responsibility. I think I’m lucky and happy that I can solely worry about my creative process. And I feel very responsible to those people who put their trust in me, so I try not to cross any lines, judge myself honestly, and always be professional. Those are the responsibilities that come with the job—the things I have to do and the promises I won’t betray. But if I’m going to do it, I’m going to be happy while I do it. That’s not always going to be possible, but that’s generally how I feel.

Well then, how do you feel about BTS at the moment? RM: BTS is … Well, it’s really hard to tell. (laughs) When BTS started out, I thought, “I know everything there is to know about BTS,” but now it’s, “I don’t know a single thing about BTS.” In the past, I felt like I knew everything, and that anything was possible. Call it childish or ambitious. But if I were to ask myself, “What is BTS to me?” I would say, we’re just people who met each other because we were meant to. But it feels like the stars aligned and a startup company became a unicorn, with perfect timing and lots of smart people. Looking back, there were a lot of ironies and contradictions in this industry. I thought I figured them out one by one, and then finally understood the whole thing. But now I feel like I don’t know anything at all. Anyway, to sum up: My young, reckless twenties. The events of my twenties. There were a lot of contradictions, people, fame, and conflict all tangled together, but it was my choice and I got a lot out of it, so my twenties were an intense but also happy time.

And what about you, as one individual person? RM: I’m a real Korean person. (laughs) A person who wants to do something in Korea. I think millennials are charging into society stuck between the analog and digital generations, and what I chose is BTS. So I try to integrate myself into our generation, try to understand what people like me are thinking, and try to work hard to capture that feeling without being a burden on them. This might be another kind of irony itself, but this is who I am. I’m a 27-year-old Korean. That’s what I think.

Trans © Weverse

[kimanda]

I guess I’ll drag myself out of my silence to react to this.

Guess the day I had been dreading for the last few years has finally come to pass. After all this time though, I’m surprised by my own feelings. I’m a little bit sad but otherwise... just kind of feels it is my time to move on. 

My own OCs for the UK are now (finally) canon deviant. And I’m okay with that. 

Even if I was still active in this fandom, one truth has remained for me. I will never retire my OCs. They’re my interpretations and I love them dearly. No matter what canon versions of these countries Himaruya throws at me, I will keep holding on to my own versions.

It is maybe time for me to make it official that I will take a break from Hetalia. 

I’m not sure if it will be temporary or permanent, I’d hate to say permanent because I invested too many years to say that I’m done with this series. For all its flaws (from the series to the fandom itself), I’ve met too many wonderful souls along the way to hand wave this experience away. I’ve remained so long because of all the creativity and love people invested in their work, their characterizations and their OCs. For the time I was here, I was happy to participate. 

But I’ve honestly been running on fumes the last... 2 years I’ve been in this fandom? The motivation of drawing just kept dropping until it completely disappeared and now I haven’t drawn a thing in several months. The motivation of writing anything worth uploading died about 3 years ago.  Maybe I just need to stop being in denial and take a step back from the fandom. Give it a few years and I might want to rejoin again with renewed energy. But I’m not really sure if that will happen. Most of the friends I’ve made here have long since moved on, from the fandom, from this site, from everything. I’ve lost touch with them and that upsets me. The fandom has for the most part become a very silent place to me and I miss the people I used to interact with. 

I’ve come to realize that the only reason I was still in the fandom was because I was attached to what other people were creating and me contributing with my own creations. I have still not watched the latest season of the anime and I’ve been barely keeping up with the comic strips. I’ve not been invested in the canon for a loooong time. It got me into the fandom, but it wasn’t what was keeping me around.

I don’t want this to feel so final. I still want to finish Behind the Mask. I promised that I would finish it. I know I keep saying that I will, and believe me, if finishing Behind the Mask is the last thing I will ever do in this fandom, then so be it. 

I guess the timing of the canon UK characters couldn’t have come at a better time. Just last month, something surprising happened: A new series broke through my walls and hijacked the place that had been occupied by Hetalia for so long. I’m obsessed with the new series, something I didn’t think could happen again after Hetalia. I’ve been in a state of almost perpetual giddiness for the past few weeks, just hungrily consuming everything in the series and from fandom and all of it feels like a breath of fresh air. 

The most shocking thing that has happened is that the series successfully broke my writing block with a new story idea. I’ve been writing again! It’s been an amazing feeling and I’m still struggling to understand why this series is the one that got me writing again. I’ve watched tons of other series and films since Hetalia, but none of them managed to capture my attention as fully as this series has.

So that’s me, looking at the introduction of the canon UK characters and walking away from it. I thought I was going to have a much worse reaction to their introduction, since I spent years being anxious about wanting to keep my own OCs and not wanting to be confronted by fans that believe that the canon versions should be immediately accepted without any hesitation.  But surprisingly, I just feel a bit of sorrow. It feels like an end of an era to me. The last page of a book that I’m not entirely sure I want to close. I suppose the sadness comes from knowing that this is the end of seeing different kinds of UK OCs. A lot of people with their OCs will keep holding on to them, but I don’t think I’ll see any new interpretations. 

That does tell me, in some way, why I remained in the fandom for so long. It wasn’t the canon that kept me going, it was seeing the different possible interpretations for all the Scotlands, Wales and Northern Irelands out there. It feels like this phase of the fandom is over now, at least it will not be as active as it used to be.  

I’m still not sure how active I will be on tumblr. I’m so attached to the idea of being a Hetalia blog, almost all blogs I follow are Hetalia blogs and the entire site is reminder of the time I spent being in the Hetalia fandom. I technically should be able to transition my blog to the new series, but a part of me is weirdly anxious about it. But I also don’t want to make a new blog. So I still need to figure this out. 

All of this long ramble is basically me trying to say that I’m taking a break from Hetalia and I’m surprisingly not that heartbroken over the UK becoming canon. Them becoming canon isn’t what is driving me to leave, but I am taking it as a sign that I need to stop being in denial about where I stand. 

Hetalia, for all its flaws, will forever have a special place in my heart. It helped me realize that I actually did enjoy history and wanted to learn about it. It allowed me to explore my own culture and to become invested in others. I met so many wonderful friends through this fandom. I learnt that I could write and tell stories that were worth telling. For all that, I’m grateful.

So you might still see me around, you might not. Wishing you all my best and stay safe!!

[nextkaratekid]

I’ve wanted to scream and shout and write this out for a long time since probably last summer at a family road trip when I came into a realization my own hyper-independence as well as homegirl from HSMTMTS, Gina Porter.

In this essay I will - 

YES THIS IS A WHOLE SERIOUS ASS ESSAY Y’ALL

- talk about how in relation to Gina’s hyper-independence and her breaking away from and unlearning that from her own family life, the group of friends she made, and even the boys she loved.

Let’s start by praising out homegirl, Sofia Wylie. Babygirl deserves all the flowers and I’m glad she’s fronting these flicks cause she always been, did, done THAT!

So let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start:

- Season 1 of HSMTMTS: 

We first meet Gina whomst is NEW and has had this tendency to see every walking human being as incomparable competition. Striving to be the best and beat the best by any means necessary, something her mom always ailed on her despite not being around to witness. 

Then by the end of the season when we see the growth, potential, and desire for a community especially having confided in Ricky, who in this case - too, was also an outsider - the hope she had almost lost in regards of having to move again but EJ and Ashlyn being there for her and going out their way to give her a home, something she never had before was icing on the cake.

She’s grown from not trusting people for being there for her to allowing herself to have hope and find home in a chosen family that genuinely care for her well being and take her in as their own.

I feel like for me, not that I saw people as competition, but I was surrounded by people who I thought felt like home but saw the world pessimistically through a lens of needing to be better than anyone. 

I knew the power I possess, but I never wanted to project that onto folks. However, sometimes when someone crosses me or does something uncomfortable to me in their own selfish ways or reasonings, it does keep me from wanting to do anything with them. 

But, I feel like with Gina I found people, or more so, they found me in the midst of my flaws and an era were I was lost because I had no solid ground or foundation of circle of friends and family to count on.

- Season 2 of HSMTMTS:

Homegirl starts staying with Ashlyn and learns truly what it’s like to live with another person instead of the whole “said person travels and I stay in the house aside from going out until it’s time to move again”. 

Oof, I felt this challenge cause I may not have move around like her but in my college I did got to travel and move and embrace my nomadic spirit that sharing a space with someone in a dorm room up until I got my own separate dorm my final years was rough because the privacy was not there unless I hung out at places on campus by myself. 

It’s one thing to live in a dorm where you have your own separate rooms and bathrooms, it’s another thing to live in a dorm where all of your beds are in the same room and you all share one bathroom. 

I’m pretty sure Gina must have stayed in the guest room of Ashlyn’s home cause Ashlyn had a similar situation where we don’t see her parents as much or literally at all (cause they ain’t cast them yet tbh) but she has a stable home that she’s lived in for years and has no problem opening doors for anyone to come through and kick in or stay in when necessary. 

Gina finally having a stable and steady ground at this point and allowing herself not to believe that it’s a trap and that it’s safe for her is so beautiful to see.

Let’s also talk about her relationship with Carlos as Co-Choreographer for Beauty & the Beast: she’s never truly shared a living place, and now she was sharing a working space and a professional title. Creative differences can make, or mostly break a production of any kind. Dance being Gina’s talents, obviously because of the extensive competition dance background of Sofia herself, and sharing that with Carlos was a struggle because as she stated it: she doesn’t want to be co-anything. Granted, she’s not used to it, but allowed herself to be open to collaborating instead of expecting everyone to get everything that she throws because she may do it but understands that not everyone else will. 

Truly, I’ve become collaborator in a lot of work especially professional when it comes to my business cause I’ve been a place of stubbornness that prevented me from asking for help. And I had to admit, I don’t have to nor need to figure or do everything myself.

- Season 3 of HSMTMTS (personally, me fave so far):

Chile, yes we see her at the previous deal with her growing feelings for Richard and then suppress for the benefit of others, but then allow her to see herself move on and grow with someone else. Enemies to lovers if you will since she did throw a drink at EJ’s face when he didn’t go through with a devious plan of hers prior, lol.

Truly, this has been my favorite so far because 1) we really got to see Sofia in the forefront carry the show (everyone else did their part as well), and 2) we see the awareness of how Gina knew who her past self was and wanting to grow from that 1.0 version into a more higher self and stable version to which she has a boyfriend, gets to go to camp, is going out for the lead not for sabotaging others or self-sabotaging reasons but merely because she wants to EARN something rather than take it like stealing candy for a baby.

And in the midst of all that, she had to come to her senses by the end of it clearly stating that she needs to know where she stands with others, and when EJ could no longer uphold to that, she had to let him go so she didn’t drag herself down just to be with him when he wasn’t on stable ground himself. Yes, some months later she and Richard finally made amends and kissed, which I gagged for all reasons of cuteness but also because I truly care about her happiness.

The ability to prioritize herself first and her well being because she’s never felt the ground beneath her feet, and she found the family that allowed her and gave her room to do so, and also learn how to trust, collaborate, share, and being honest with others and most importantly herself - I’m rooting for this character and see so much of myself in her.

Us hyper-independent girlies have carried so much in ourselves and the world and people who are barely around us that when we finally got the grounding and good people to support us, we got the balance we needed all along.

[sabrinathe20somethingwitch]

Hello! I thought prompt 11. from Romantic would be cute for a dialogue.

Love your writing!😊

AHHHHH! THANK YOU for the prompt and THANK YOU for the kind words, you're the best! 🥰

For some reason, I went with a Regency Era AU for this prompt, I've been meaning to rewatch Bridgerton and I just couldn't resist.

Please send me prompts y'all! Help me with my New Year's intention to be creative/write everyday. ❤️

11. "You remembered my favorite food."

She supposes that the steady ticking of the wooden grandfather clock in the corner must be louder... yes, it must be. Surely it’s louder than the pounding of her heart beneath her sternum, threatening to burst free from her delicate ribcage at any moment... right?

It feels like hours before one of them speaks, but a subtle glance in the direction of the clock assures her that it’s only been but a few minutes. Petra bites back a rather unladylike sigh. If she must be the first to introduce conversation, so be it... even though he is the one that insisted on the rather impromptu luncheon. “It is lovely to see you, your Grace. How long has it been? Nine years?”

He holds up a hand, but doesn’t look at her. “Petra, please...” Weathered lines crease the edges of his handsome features, despite being only twenty-seven years of age. The war has aged him, she muses, though Levi — the Duke has always seemed wise beyond his years. He’s older than when she last saw him, more calloused and prickly than she thought possible. She should chastise him, chide him, at the very least she should seem a tad scandalized that he so boldly addressed her by her first name, rather than my Lady; but the sound of his low voice curling around the syllables of her name ignites a warm flutter in her stomach that has long stayed dormant over the years. Nine years, to be precise, beginning the very moment she discovered that he had been drafted into the war, when she didn’t know if she would ever see him again.

“I... beg your pardon?”

“Petra, please, I believe we’re past the formalities.”

It takes but a moment for her resolve, her steadfast dedication to etiquette and propriety, to crumble. If Mama could see her now... “Alright, Levi.” His head jerks up at the sound of his name tumbling from her lips and, for the first time since he sat himself in her drawing room, he looks at her. Instantly, she is but a little girl once more, and he is a precocious young boy teetering on the edge of adolescence.

Betrothed from infancy to each other by force, but the best of friends by choice, she’d harbored a growing infatuation with him for the entirety of her childhood, an infatuation that slowly evolved into a deep affection that she carried with her through her teenage years. She continued to write to him during the war, some of her letters were returned, some weren’t. Just this past spring, she had made her official debut into society at the start of the social season, her father was already fielding matches for her from potential suitors. She had declined every single one so far, of course, claiming that she would honor the contract their families had arranged between them if and when Levi returned. Not a soul knew that she was in love with him, or whatever she understood love to be at the tender age of nineteen.

That is... if he wants her now. She hadn’t seen him in nearly a decade, things can certainly change in that amount of time.

Perhaps he’s already taken another bride... the thought makes her shudder.

Petra turns to her meek chaperone, who is seated quietly in the corner of the room. “Nifa, I believe that the Duke and I require a moment of privacy.”

Nifa balks, her jaw dropping in utter shock. “But, Lady Petra, I don’t know if I sh—“ Her lady’s hardened stare urges her to quickly close her mouth. “Oh, I-I believe I’m feeling quite faint and I… should retire for a bit.” With a polite curtsy to them both, she scurries out of the room faster than her feet can carry her.

Now that they’re properly — or rather improperly — alone, Petra turns to face him, her face stretching into a tight smile that sets her mouth into a thin line. “Please, Levi, help yourself to some tea.”

The corner of his lip tugs into a slight smirk, one that Petra finds annoyingly handsome. “You remembered my favorite food.”

“Lemon scones were the only sweet thing you would ever take for tea without me forcing it down your throat.”

He chuckles, and the mere sound of it makes her heart leap into her throat and her palms begin to feel sticky with sweat. She resists the urge to wipe them against her skirts. “I’m surprised you did remember…” he mutters, casting her an indiscernible glance over the top of his teacup.

Petra simply shrugs. “How could I ever forget...” she trails off into her cup, more of a statement than a genuine question. “However, I’ll admit that I’m surprised to see you, Levi.”

“And why is that?”

“I never thought you’d return to Sina… I never thought you’d return to a place… like this.” She’s speaking the truth as she knows it to be: she had always thought that, after the war, he’d abandon his title and travel the world, perhaps sail to Marley.

“Only because there’s something to return for…”

“And what is that?” She politely thinks to herself that he must be meaning his family’s estate — he assumed the role of Duke shortly after his father’s passing — but there’s a flicker of yearning in his eyes, akin to nostalgia; the moment she blinks, it disappears, replaced by his usual bored and impassive expression.

He doesn’t answer her question and she knows it must be purposeful, he must have heard her, but he chooses to ignore it. “I’m aware you received a proposal from Lord Bozado’s son.”

Petra nods. “Yes, Oluo, he’s a dear friend of my brother and he seemed to think we’d get along quite well.” She quickly tries to think of a way to steer the conversation away from such an uncomfortable, and inappropriate, subject as courting and suitors and proposals.

Much to her chagrin, Levi refuses to budge. “But you declined it,” he states, as if he already knows the answer.

“Of course I did.”

“Why?”

“Why are you in Sina?”

A long moment passes between them, neither breaking the other’s gaze, and she levels him with a challenging stare of her own, one that he eagerly returns. They were used to comfortable, companionable silences between them: he wasn’t much for chatter to begin with and she knew that he didn’t quite appreciate her incessant prattling about this and that — her mother had always told her she had a horrible habit of babbling to fill the pregnant pauses. But this time, she knows that it’s different: the silence feels tense, charged with something that she can’t quite put her finger on. She can’t help but wonder what the proper etiquette is for a situation such as this. She’s never been alone with a man before, besides her brother or her father. It’s just Levi, she hums to herself, but the simple knowledge that she is sitting across from her childhood best friend, the man she’s loved for years, sipping tea with him, it only makes the gnawing anxiety coil tighter and tighter in her stomach, threatening to snap at any moment.

She fears she might be sick.

Levi shoots up from his chair quite abruptly, immediately bending at the waist into a shallow bow. “It’s been lovely to see you, Lady Petra.” He starts to walk towards the door before she has a chance to respond, but just before he reaches the handle, he turns on his heel, his brows bunched together in an expression that seems reminiscent of fierce determination. She faintly wonders if this is how he must have appeared on the battlefield. “Is your father here this afternoon?”

It takes but a moment for her to find her words, nearly tripping over her own tongue. “He is in his study. Should I call for him?”

He holds up a hand. “No need, I will go to him. I have something I need to discuss with him.”

“Are you certain you can find him? Should I show you the way?”

He tosses her a quick glance over his shoulder, offering her that secret smile that she so fondly remembers from her youth. “Don’t worry, I never forgot.”

He opens the door and Nifa nearly tumbles onto the floor, her ear having been pressed against the wood.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Warning: This is long

Hi, I decided to remain anon in case anybody disagreed. This might be a little strange but I wanted to ask you a few questions about the Chad fandom. Firstly, I want to say that I’m a huge fan of your writing. I’ve been reading your stuff since you started posting. Back to business-—So I started writing on tumblr when the Black panther fandom blew up in early 2018. I remember stories being posted every hour, so many black writers were expressing themselves! I'm not sure if anything had ever happened like that online before. I hold that time very close to my heart. I see that alot of the writers from that era deactivated or just don’t post anymore. It’s kind of sad but I understand that everybody moves on. I’ve been writing for Chadwick since 2017 on wattpad. I joined the Black panther fandom and wrote some stuff in 2018 as well and it was super fun.

Now that Chad is gone, In your personal opinion, do you think it’s disrespectful to write for him?? And when I say write, I mean all the additional things that come with it: Suggestive themes, dark themes, romance ect?

Do you think you’ll continue to write for Chad/T’challa or is it too painful?

And finally...

I’m going to be posting my T’challa story that I wrote on wattpad on here. I’ve been working on the story for three years but I often wonder if people are truly ready for it? I don’t see a lot of people posting about Chad or any of the black panthers characters really. Do you think it would offend people ? He passed before I finished the book but I decided I was going to finish it anyway. I just want to know your thoughts.

I know this was lengthy but I really value you’re opinion. Thanks for entertaining us with your stories Over the years. Hope all is well.

Ps: I salute you for taking a swing at the heimdall series. Not a lot of writers (especially writers of color) write for him sadly. I read it over and over again every few months!

-k ❤️

Hi K,

I'm sorry this is so delayed. I've been off this for a bit trying to cram for a test and didn't want any distractions.

First, thank you so much for your support. I appreciate it and love that you've been here since the very beginning. I also remember those days right after BP was announced and then when it came out. It was so nice to read so many different takes on T'Challa and Wakanda. There were so many creative stories and plots I loved it too.

Yeah, a lot of the OG BP writers have deactivated, and it is sad thinking about it but understandable when you look at how much people have to face writing on here not just with demanding readers but with racism and a slew of other things.

Now that Chad has passed, I don't think it is disrespectful to write for him (Chadwick the man) if the manner of writing isn't something slanderous to who he was as a person (from what we've seen and been told). Now if it is T'Challa you're writing I say go forth and be as creative as you want. While we will forever associate his face with T'Challa, remember T'Challa is just a character.

I don't think it's weird to write for him either it all depends on the writer's comfort and strength. I for one commend anyone who still writes for Chad because my goodness I can imagine how painful and sad it might feel thinking about all the memories he's given us and to come to grips that he is no longer here. We won't hear that contagious laugh, see his effervescent smile that makes you want to smile with him or hear philosophical ideals as relating to his experiences and his craft.

For me personally it is too hard to write about Chad. Even writing this I am getting teary just remembering him. I don't think I will be able to finish my Chad stories no matter how badly I want to finish them (and I really, really want to finish them). I'm even having a hard time separating his face from T'Challa when I go to write King's Orders. I do think I will go back to King's Orders and Late eventually though.

I think you should post it! I don't think T'Challa stories (no matter the light would offend anyone, if it's Chad personally I'd be careful to remain respectful of the man) Even though there aren't a lot of BP stories being posted right now (I suspect partly because of the lack of fresh media content out there regarding the character and the upcoming BP2 movie that is still some time away from a trailer or even releasing which plays a part on inspiration and Chad's passing) I think there is still an audience for BP, Chadwick and T'Challa content.

LOL about Heimdall. I know there aren’t that many writers who write him much less black writers and that honestly needs to change. Heimdall is so versatile. He can be old fashioned and chivalrous and still rearrange your guts and turn you out. LOL. I really loved writing Heimdall omg. I do have plans to continue the story because my goodness was it fun to write in that way. 

Thank you for reading. I can write and write but without you interacting I doubt I’d feel as much joy as I currently do. So, thank you and everyone who reads and interacts here.